On arrival we were pretty confused and the locals were only too kind to help in their weird native language. Luckily 3 Catholic nuns came to the rescue and adopted us as friends, and Desh as a recruit. it was pretty funny as she had a big wooden cane and decided to use desh as a poking device! So as I was boarding the train, Desh was being poked on with Catholic guilt.
Aboard the train and it wasn't too bad - reclining soft seats and A/C.. but we weren't aware of the onboard entertainment, consisting of unavoidable TVs at max volume ready to play for 8.5 hours inbetween communist music and announcements.
Here's a pic of the train inside;
I think it's pretty important now to lay down an example of one of these shows they play on the Train TV. Although I don't understand their ridiculously loud squawky language - I think I got the gist of how it went down;So - there is this guy sitting at a street table cafe (they are everywhere in this country) and he is super sad because he has no friends. After talking to the unattractive lady owner he decides to recruit a friend from the street. he walks up to this Vietnamese tourist taking photos of bland buildings and squaks at them until strangely they start hugging one too many times. After a few more hugs they sit down.. and with his new friend at the side he gets some male confidence and starts yelling at the owner until she delivers 2 slabs of Heinekin beer (only 48 cans).. but this only mildly pleases them, so he yells at her and slaps her on the ass until she gets a big feast of noodle broth too.
So the 3 of them start getting really HAMMERED and the hugging starts again - but worse than this, the show turns into a really bad MUSICAL - a nightmare train situation for us. At this point I put the ipod on and closed the eyes.. so sorry - no idea how the program got any worse and then ended..
Interesting note to make though - I think it may have been off the cuff - as they seemed to be drinking the beers for REAL.
Next up was lunch - Ladesha has this really big problem with eating noises - so this was pretty entertaining for me when most of the carriage got given trays of meat and rice, soup and even sausages to gnaw on visciously - poor Desh started to feel ill with the noise which we drowned out with 'Pearl Jam' on full volume.
You've heard me mention the trash problem before - well this is a new level. If they don't like something they just spit it out - so there was these chicken bones and rice deposits landing everwhere around us.. Then a carriage worker comes through with a mop and cleans it up.
The highlight for me after the lunch affair was seeing someone get a shaken up coke can and click the tab - only for it to explode over a nun.. she calmly had to get a towel and give her glasses a full wash and chamoise.
One last note to make - the bathrooms. There are 2 choices;
1) A normal looking toilet connected to a holding tank - 8 hours in the tank is full and she's backing up bad.
2) A silver bowl that when flushes you see the flap open to the tracks - cool huh?
Once in Danang we caught a cab to Hoi An - which is refreshing comfort. Our driver handed us a card and it stated his name is 'Kill Bill' - one of our highligths for sure.
He had his own car - A Kia - which he paid $50,000 - - bam, I didn't have the heart to say they are pretty much scrap metal where I come from and half the price.. instead he is a P.I.M.P with his ride being one of about 2% of the population driving something other than a motorbike.
right now - getting hightop sneakers made based on Nikes. Getting mine stealth with no logos - black leather and snake skin... quality is something toworry about - but will just make it funnier if they turn out to be dire.
Desh is hooked on getting skirts made - and is getting some cool stuff with great fabrics. Next post will reveal all.
Caio
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