Smoking Sapa

The great thing about Vietnam is the diversity of it's climate. If you're feeling a little hot in Ha Noi, you only have to book yourself a first class sleeper train ticket to Sapa for some fresh mountain air 1600metres in the clouds... and clouds you do get!

This place is incredible - the village of Sapa is based in a valley on the hillside, and within 5 minutes you can watch the nice mild day wash over with a thick cloud of mist, emanating from below like billowing smoke blowing up from the crevasse of the valley. The result is a total white out. The air is crisp and reminded us straight away of the days living on the mountain in Canada. . all the same smells from the fresh air and pine, but without the snow.

These pictures show the view from our hotel room. . then the pictures below is what happened 15 minutes later.. very mystical, but alas, no werewolves or vampires howled through the white blanket.



Ok - and below is the mist rolling in and then taking over.


This next shot is some evening mist - sorry for being such a mist 'Junkie' but it really was incredible like some kind of apparition flying through to let the people know they are not alone.

This town belongs to the hill tribes. . so far these people have been so lovely and smiley - something you don't see too often from the Vietnamese. They all know perfect English and are very quick witted to make a sale - especially the little girls, who twist your words and squeeze promises out of you.. and then wait until you finish eating in the restaurant to hit you up again. you can only laugh at it though. After a few days, you get used to the phrase "You buy from me", and a gentle head shake lets em know you ain't no sucker.
The teenagers love the Western guys, and my friend Jay and I got totally pool sharked by a couple of sharp shooting hill tribe hussies.. it was a little embarrassing as one girl played with one arm most of the time as she was too short to reach.

Here's Desh doing some hard haggling on the mean streets of Sapa;

Along with the markets and street deals, this town has fantastic villages and towns to visit by trekking.. or in our case, a rented trail bike.

This was a really really cool way to travel, as we ended up doing a mission to a place called Silver waterfall which is a 32 km round trip on dirt roads and mud.
After the journey we were cruising about town with our backfiring beast when I noticed that the ignition barrel no longer contained the key .. that had somehow fallen out while driving. This situation was a little odd, as the bike was switched to 'on' and running, but no key to switch her back off. Then it all came back to me;
*Renting the bike
* The lady saying that the key was tied to a red rope, and that rope had to be tied to the handle bar
* Me stopping the bike at the waterfall and removing the key
* Starting the bike again and forgetting to tie the key back on.

Christ - this is my fault. So I went to a local mechanic to get some more dodgy backyard gasoline.. and then with a thick language barrier in place we played charades with the bike to show him the key was gone and I needed another. Well - what followed was a true test to how nice these people are. He went through maybe 15 barrel kits until he found a key that he could jam in and turn the bike on and off - 'sometimes'... yep - she worked, but it wasn't ideal at all. Then when I went to pay he gestured to bugger off with a smile.. so we did - what a fella!

So what did we do? We jumped back on the bike with the cold mist blowing in and stormed the 32 km trail again sweeping the roads for the key and the red rope. Our journey was fun storming the mud, but with minimal results. We were ready to give the hire place loads of money, knowing they were going to work us over.. and yes the owner was pissed off. . "where's my key, where" - I told her that it vibrated off and it was kinda her fault.. and that I had paid a mechanic to make her this one that barely worked.. my magic wasn't going very far, but my rental agent smoothed her over and said not to worry about it.
I was pretty happy with that result and we tip toed away from the muddy mess of a bike.
Some pics of the bike and the waterfall;

The shot below is what you see all over Sapa and the hills - this is their terraced plantations for rice and other produce - really really incredible from a distance.


Danger - the following waterfall is a death trap if you clamber over it - and guess what - we saw some Chinese tourists climbing and hanging over.


On our last day we took a trek up the hillside behind the town to look at the magic view below. Stunning!

The below shot looks down to part of the hike. You can see how well maintained their themed gardens are.


Desh thought Sapa should have another 'P'

Ground Hog day - in Ha Noi

I was considering several names for this city - one was even Sin City... but sitting in a cafe today and watching the same thing happen over and over like a visual broken record day by day made me think of that classic Bill Murray movie.

It was quite a strange introduction for us when we arrived, as you can live very different lives here by the kind of budget you have. We met up with some friends and decided on going to the InterContinental Sunset Bar for some cocktails. We sat over the incredible water view and imagined trading our $20 rooms for these stunning stilted $400USD rooms over Westlake. A few drinks later and the bill was presented at $64USD.. which is mind blowing really when you are used to $1 beers. A taxi took us into the Old Quarter which had its daily peddlers replaced with drug lords trying to sell us black squares of opium and weed. Shrugging them to the side we entered some 'closed' but open bars for the remainder of the night. Heading back to our hotel on foot felt strangely sinister as there were dark dodgey peddlers and huge RATS scuttling down the street gutters.

The day is the complete opposite here. The deserted streets suddenly fill with life - it is like taking Ho Chi Minh's 6,000,000 (registered) people and vice gripping them into a district a quarter of the size - making manoeuvring a task on it's own. You learn to block out the insistent cries for moto taxi and beggars screeching for existence through your wallet.

Going back to the option on how you can live in different ways, well we have opted for the better half, and have found a large scale life for ex pats and their ritzy joints and high class lunches. Below is a pic of the Press Club -- an upscale bar where the higher class are known to hang out and smoke their cigars over a fine cognac. We drank a gin and tonic with a $15USD bill.


Once you leave the \Old Quarter, you can relax to some degree as personal space returns and you can take in the sites it has to deliver. We have been here in rain and overcast days so any pic I have is grey.. but I imagine it is fantastic on a summers day.

One thing you can do here is visit Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum, where his body has been preserved since 1974 behind glass walls. Apparently it is shipped to Russia 2 months a year for retouching.. but as lonely planet suggests, that he may actually be a wax model and we are being eternally duped.. kind of interesting as his last request was to be cremated. Going by how pushy and disrespectful they are up here, I can see how his people would rebel against any wishes.
This was actually mind blowing for the shear volume of visitors (I imagine hundreds of thousands per day) which I've tried to capture in a photo.. you can see only one line at a time, but try to imagine 2 more lines at right angle to this one. It is very militant and you are told to be 2 abreast at all times. I was told off for talking, wearing sunglasses and having my hands in my pockets.. I was very obedient as they order you with rifle and bayonet in hand. No photos of the man himself though, as the flashes may melt his wax features ;)

There is a lot of culture to this city and some exquisite antique shops selling incredible vases and marble figures right down to old chess sets made of bone, ageing and cracking.. they know the value - but it is a bargain for the history you feel in hand.

In Vietnam you can get some pretty frugal housing - but never have I seen a whole house being built in what seems a fissure between 2 buildings. The next pics shows some condensed lifestyle options.

It seems to be a place you can get anything though.. this was quite random, A Flight of the Conchords flyer that has been printed onto a t shirt in the middle of the old quarter. I've always wanted to wear a flyer? Just a good example of the Asians catching onto a popular avenue quickly to make some more coin.

Well - off to spend some more of my western wallet now. Hope this hasn't seemed like a negative post.. but this definitely hasn't been our city of choice so far. We are city folk that have started to enjoy the sleepy towns and sandy beaches.

Desh and I earning some coin for lunch


This sign left me intrigued as to what the ... could possibly mean. Maybe it gets a little crazy under red lights at night

With 90 Million people sharing your country - space is not an option - so you come and play badminton on the streets.. I actually really liked this concept

It's pretty rare to see graffiti. So far on the way I saw a strange piece on a wall that said "easy riders are fucking cool" .. mmm and a few tags.. but Ha Noi has gangsters.. I even saw East side scrawled up today. They are trying their best to adopt cultures and you can see it happening more in the youth and their hip fashion .. refusing to wear helmets on their scooters too parade the new hair or hat..

Hoi An by night light

On our last night we decided to take the camera into town, as this place does an incredible transformation as the sun sets. To be honest - this is half of what it was on Sunday.. but you can get a good idea of why the waterfront is so attractive.

The Midnight Cabaret

So we have been having the best time in Hoi An.. and especially comforting is our sweet lil' hotel we call home.

It comes to our final night, and after a spectacular feast in town we returned home to prepare for our early flight the following morning. At 12.30 am we were rudely awakened by an acoustic guitar and 4 wailing ladies and gents. We were confused and disoriented as we couldn't remember there being a hotel band?? Especially of the bohemian Vietnamese kind..

It just got worse and worse.. as they were obviously attacking the rice wine with a vengeance.. and possibly the river weed.

An hour ticks by and the lobby phone is ringing off the hook. Ladesha called through as well and stated slowly and clearly "You.. must.. come.. sort out.. loud NOISE.. in room"

A pitter patter of dainty 30kg flesh tried her best to appease the situation, and as their room door closed the guitar started up again with more laughter. Ladesha lost it and with flailing arms and a flapping hand slapped the wall until they shut up. .. for another 30 seconds. There was nothing to do, we had to sit it out..

At 3am the guitar wore itself down and the talking became a subtle murmur.. but this wasn't the end.. you see, one bohemian lady decided that she needed to cough and hoick into tissues, and flush the toilet for the rest of the night.. Christ.

We awoke in the morning, to a flood in our room - as obviously the cistern workout had catastrophically overspilled our way. To make matters worse - my denim shorts floated past me with 4,000,000 wet dong glued inside.. Ahhhhh

I tried to get a discount - but they never understand, and this girl is just too darn sweet. Instead she packed us 4 bananas for our travels and 2 souvenir silk purses with business cards intact.

Oh well.. you got to have a lasting memory I guess.

I'm a ma-model, you know what I mean? Hoi An fashion shoot

You can't come to a town like this without an award winning catwalk show afterwards. So with cameras flashing, here are the results of;
3 skirts
1 dress
1 pair of custom sandals
1 pair of custom kickers
1 coat

Hoi An - tailorville

This place is really nice. You can easily spend some time here if you're sick of the traffic in other busy towns/cities. There is a new breed of hassle here - Tailors! Every second shop seems to be one - and they can make anything for you it seems?/seams?
Because you aren't constantly busy sight seeing, you tend to wander into these shops and temptation takes hold.

I didn't really plan on much - but when I sat down and had a flick through their catalogue I decided some new hightop kickers were for me. seeing their craftmanship is not really a confidence booster with wonky nike logos and stitching that looks like a crazy 'B' road. I thought about it and waivered the risk by strict modifying. It goes like this;
1) Choose your favourite sweat shop... I mean shoe brand in the book
2) What leather would you like sir? I'll have black, black stitching, no logos, metal eye holes, snakeskin detailing please, and black soles.. oh and phat laces
3) Pay more for leather.. then when you receive them realise that they are made of vinyl no matter what,
4) come back in 24 hours and bingo - new nike.. hightops.

they actually aren't all that bad.. but they weigh about 40grams and may rip apart if you were to accidentally stand in gum.


Ladesha has had 3 skirts made - and is now getting her favourite dress replicated along with some sandals from a magazine picture she brought with her.

We get asked so much "hullo, you come in, you buy, moto bike, bicycle, what you like" that we decided to adopt a family technique started by Cousin Andy Gardner for little Hannah's listening skills. Basically if you think they don't understand you but pestering you anyway ..and you are a bit sick of the questioning you just say "RHINOSAURUS" and they smile and turn away.

This is a really pretty town and is built around French and Chinese architectural influences.. so the places are pleasing to look at and even better to go into with loads of timber and exposed beams. They are currently raising money to restore the oldtown.. I think we're actually sposed to be contributing by buying tickets to wander through.. but no hassle, no sale sorry.
Along the front of the town is a canal system full of boats taking you for 1 hour tours and the such.. a few pics.




Another attractive part of this city is the culinary delights. Around the oldtown are fantastic restaurants offering great local food and western food also. They are really into Lassi drinks and so are we (fruit with yoghurt - traditionally Indian).
This is a pic of yesterdays lunch;
Lemon shredded chicken with rice crackers and a strawberry lassi.. Mmmmm


We love the dogs here also.. they are total mongrels - but adorable lil creatures nonetheless. Here's a Chihuahua crossed with Street dog modeling a faux pearl necklace.. Paris Hilton would love her.


Next is an example of the female role here. Before this shot she was being used as a human towbar on this motorcycle for her husband. Very effective - just hook her up and drive with maximum load.


I thought I would include a shot of our hotel. It's really sweet - nice large room with quiet A/C.. we do have a loud Hoicker next door - but he just removes the lung butter in the mornings. French styled shutters and Vietnamese tea and clay pot for refreshments. There is a lil restaurant balcony on our floor for breaky too.


One last story - our post office saga today. The mission was simple. Walk in with a coffee mug each, ask for a parcel and then send to NZ. We had one each.. after 20 minutes in a line that made no sense at all we were given 3 customs forms to fill. After filling them we returned to the line, only to get snaked 3 times by the locals and their damn language.. after finally getting there, she took my tiny cup and laughed - then tapped the worker next door and joined her in on the joke. She then proceeded to spend 20 minutes building a bespoke box for the mug and creating a cellotape ball over it until it had soft corners and could be used for footy practice.
They weighed it in and it came to $7 to send - that's fine. Poor Ladesha had the same parcel as me - but got snaked even more - so she was 15 minutes behind.. when it came to her turn for a box they applied double tape - and her bill came to $9. We tried to dispute - but apparently hers had a customs charge on it and mine didn't need one. The logic blew our minds so we left confused and scared.. very scared indeed.